the time. It was Kurt. He had gotten her address from mutual friends and wanted to meet her kids. “Zachary heard his voice and, being blind, his hearing is impeccable. He immediately took Kurt’s hand and walked him around the entire house,” Brenda said. “Finally, they came into the living room and were wrestling on the floor. I remember thinking I didn’t have to explain Zack’s disability. We dated from then on.” Brenda was a U.S. Marine Corps corporal when her first husband, also in the military, accidentally dropped their 4-month-old baby Zack while bathing him. The injury left Zack brain-damaged and blind, causing Brenda to get a hardship discharge from the Marines in 1990. Doctors told Brenda she’d be lucky if Zack ever sat up. She was 21 at the time. “I think the Marine Corps taught me to step up and do what you have to do,” Brenda said. “When you’re in that mode, you’re not thinking about the future. You’re just hoping he doesn’t have a seizure and makes it through that day.” But when Kurt stepped into her life, Brenda allowed herself to start thinking about a future. “Kurt fell in love with the kids right away. I was tougher to fall in love with,” she said. Yet Brenda recognized there was something different about him. “I mean, what 21 year old starts dating a divorced mother of two who is 25 with two kids, on food stamps, living in her parents’ basement? He did, and did it well.” For his part, Kurt found someone who believed in him and his dreams. Brenda stood by him during the lean years of trying to make it as a professional athlete, following him from city to city. “Brenda has been there from day one. She shaped everything, from my perspective on life to helping me grow up,” Kurt said. The two married in 1997 and began living their improbable dream. Kurt officially adopted Brenda’s two kids, Zack and Jesse, and had five more of their own: Cade, Jada, EJ and twins Sienna and Sierra. Today Zack is 30 and, despite his old doctors’ dim prognosis, is walking, talking and changing lives. Like a lot of families of kids with disabilities, Kurt and Brenda thought Zack would always be with them. But they came to realize they were holding Zack back. He had graduated from high school, where he took part in work programs and thrived. But after that, he was home full-time in a busy house with six other kids and a family with lots of A close-knit family, the Warners have seven children, who they try to teach the joy of giving to others. 24 FRONTDOORS MEDIA | DECEMBER 2019

they’ve done about 50 so far. They’ve also done an annual coat drive in St. Louis for the past 20 years, inspired by the time Brenda saw a child with no jacket waiting for a school bus during a Midwestern winter. “We’ve given away 10,000 coats,” Kurt said, “It’s amazing what can happen when you get behind efforts like that.” First things first — faith and family — is the formula for their success. So it’s no surprise that their biggest undertaking is inspired by both. Back when Zack was struggling after high school, Kurt and Brenda knew he deserved more. After an exhaustive search, Brenda found a residential community for adults with intellectual and learning disabilities in St. Louis. Though the family lived in Arizona and would miss Zack, they decided he should live there. “It was incredible to watch him explode in the four years he was there,” Kurt said. Zack got a job at a movie theater, made friends and started to blossom. “Before that, if you’d ask him a question, he would answer but never had his own agenda. When we would call him, it would be 20 straight minutes where he would talk. The ability to communicate, the desire to connect and the social part were key for him. He was thriving there.” “WE NEED TO HAVE SOMETHING WHERE OTHER FAMILIES LIKE OURS IN THIS AREA CAN HAVE A SAFE PLACE WHERE THEIR CHILD CAN THRIVE BUT ALSO BE A PART OF THEIR FAMILY’S LIFE.” commitments. “We came to realize that we’re so busy doing everything else that he was kind of stuck. His life was waking up, seeing what today brought and then going to sleep and doing it again tomorrow,” Kurt said. “Being able to wake up with a purpose is important.” Purpose is fundamental to the Warners’ lives. Both Kurt and Brenda come from humble backgrounds and don’t take the blessings of success lightly. “I remember growing up, wanting to see myself on TV, people wearing a jersey with my name on it, and making lots of money. But you come to a realization very quickly that that’s not what life’s about,” Kurt said. He recognized his fame afforded him opportunities bigger than football — he had a chance to impact people. For years, Kurt and Brenda have done just that through their foundation, First Things First, which they created in 2001. The organization has been involved with numerous projects, much of it shaped by the Warners’ life experiences. Because Brenda was a single mom for years, they adopted a program called Homes for the Holidays that gives furnished homes to single parents —