38 | FRONTDOORS MAGAZINE “All my kids desire to be part of this,” John said. “Their lives are totally self-driven.” Twice a year — sometimes over email, often in person — the family convenes to review their impact. They ask the hard questions: Should we do more? Should we add a new cause? It is a space where the children’s voices carry weight. The logistics of the philanthropy now fall to the youngest, Will. “Will physically does all the giving, mostly because I don’t want to, and it’s a lot of paperwork,” John said with a smile. “He tracks it way better,” Kathleen said. And then there are the grandkids, Eleanor, 5, and Archie, 3, who have introduced a new hierarchy to the Graham household. “I leaned in to kiss Eleanor goodbye recently,” John said, “and she goes, ‘Jaja, let it be.’” Strength in Vulnerability Perhaps the most striking aspect of John Graham’s profile is not his success, but his willingness to discuss his struggles. In a business culture that prizes stoicism, John is openly vocal about his own mental health journey. “I’ve seen a lot of people struggle, including friends that have committed suicide,” he said. “If you’re on top of it, the chance of that happening is low. If you’re not, it’s a random outcome.” He speaks to high school students at Brophy, expecting John, Kathleen, Annie, Justin and Will are a tight-knit blended family. “Everybody gets along gloriously, including my ex-wife, which is nice,” John said. John and Kathleen, with granddaughter Ellie in 2021. In 2022, Brophy rededicated the Brophy Sports Campus as the Graham Family Sports Campus in the family’s honor.

“It is better to be kind than it is to be right.” Photo by Scott Foust on one name: John Graham. Kathleen attributes this to his ability to listen without an agenda. “John looks at the problem with no ego,” she said. It brings the story back to a simple philosophy that governs their lives, from the boardroom to the living room. It is a quote from John’s father, the man whose name is on the building where Valley of the Sun United Way sits today. “It is better to be kind than it is to be right.” “I’ll put it on my tombstone,” John said. “It’s one of those deals where I heard it growing up, but one day, I just got it.” In a world obsessed with being right — on social media, in politics, in business — John and Kathleen Graham have chosen the other path. They have chosen to be kind. They have chosen to serve. And they have chosen, whenever possible, to be home by dinner. them to ask about real estate deals or profit margins. Instead, when they write him thank-you letters, the most common theme is gratitude for his vulnerability. “They write, ‘Thank you for talking to me about mental health. I have a sister that has a problem, or a friend, or I have a problem,’” John said. “It’s amazing that they would respond to it.” It is a rare quality in a CEO: the understanding that true strength isn’t about being impenetrable, but about being accessible. A Broker of Peace This lack of ego makes John the ideal mediator. When a recent big-stakes deal was imploding, the sparring factions needed a broker they all trusted. They all agreed FRONTDOORS MAGAZINE | 39